My thoughts
shift back today, of years recent past,
All I knew, these experiences surpass
I am a misplaced gem today,
wasting from the wind of such frivolous thought
A cold wind of which yesterday brought
For certain,
nothing now can dull tomorrows shine
for I am blessed, my giver is time
knowing that everyday fades to disappear,
That even dreams disappear here
Is not enough for me to draw sorrow near
Only for a moment,
even days gone by-deserve the very least,
I'll bow my head to mourn the defeat of the beast
You have an answer that you're too afraid to say
or the lack of an answer could be the only card you've left to play
& yet I understand now how you see it better to go the easier way
but still I've only one question, I'll never know,
for you my wound, (my story left untold)
Dig up a memory worth no more than the thought it holds
warm than cold, young than old,
How is it that love should only come into the world-
A poison, a cure?
My gingerbread man
Only part of an excuse
Which makes it fairly simple to pronouce adieux
Early ethereal voices
Too soft to hear
Coerced with whisper to let go of fear
They gave me money, a monthly dole
Undisciplined problems
But my pockets had holes
I held tight and saw different sides
Of my own truth
Break away from anything I knew
Life took my comfort
I cursed its chill
And walked what felt only uphill
And from the ever touch of a moments sun
Spiraling towards clarity
Had all begun
And I could feel each enigmatic breath
In all I had still to do ahead
I washed myself clean with tears I once shed
beat from me
life took my eyes
so it could then offer me strength to see
for now I look back on any impervious pain
and know it was necessary
for all my soul has gained
I must admit it took an ear tug strong
To finally hear the saving, sirens song
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Monday, December 4, 2006
Fuck me if I am wrong, but you want to make out with me?
Sorry about the subject line title. I have a very good friend "Frank", who uses this line all the time and each time I laugh. Frank shared a 2 year relationship with a beautiful and intelligent Goth chick named "Kila", who wore a garter belt every day of her life; rec'd her Ph.D. in Mathematics and broke up with him on their Roman holiday. While I do not know her, she fascinates me, primarily because math has always been my weakness the arithmetical intellect of his ex seems a distance between each plate of an analytical balance where each of us is characterized in this active imagination of mine as one of the two plates with my dear friend, (whom I offer this sort of flattery simply for creative purposes) is the fulcrum in the middle of this scale. Comparison is a funny tool some humans use to grow or cower. She is also friends with my brother and has openly expressed her curiosity about me. One day I'm sure we will meet and find some semblance bridging the gap of curiosity because it is when we feel relative that we are at ease because the underlying fact of mystery lay in what we do not know or do not completely understand. Anyway, she is a math genius apparently and I will not and could not fake this one, I am horrible at math. When I hear the word "M-A-T-H" my mind immediately runs to safe ground and remains hidden until those pesky numeric demons evaporate.
Recently though, I've been given suggested reading material for an upcoming work assignment. It is necessary reading for understanding weather streams.
"Chaos and Weather Prediction", which was written by James Yorke, Distinguished University Professor of Mathematics and Physics at the Institute for Physical Sciences and Technology (IPST), University of Maryland, in collaboration with:
Chris Danforth (Ph.D. 2006),
John Harlim (Ph.D. 2006),
Brian Hunt,
Eugenia Kalnay,
Eric Kostelich (Prof. at Arizona State U. visiting UMD),
Ed Ott, Istvan Szunyogh,
Aleksey Zimin (Ph.D. UMD 2004)
It basically states, all prediction is extrapolation. Our primary goal is to develop algorithms for finding the global initial conditions for weather prediction. We are using nonlinear dynamics (or chaos) theory to develop better weather initialization algorithms for use with high performance computing. The project is based on the idea that the weather - at least as exhibited by weather models - is not terribly chaotic. We develop techniques for understanding existing, whole-earth weather models using ensembles of solutions, collections of solutions with slightly different initial conditions. Now I don't fully grasp it all yet, thats because I am only 71% nerdatron, 7% deriving from using the word nerdatron in real life.
This is something I am reading up on and because I have to but because of this suggestion I have stumbled upon other subjects researched by Prof. Yorke. He has supervised approximately 40 Ph.D. dissertations & has been credited in over 300 publications. This man has written so much on a variety of subjects.
Projects which currently include:
Better methods for determining the genetic sequence of large genomes,
Nonlinear dynamics of computer networks (Internet TCP)
Modeling the population dynamics of HIV, or "Why the US Gay HIV Epidemic Exploded Years before the Sub-Saharan Epidemic"
A Mathematical theory of observation,
Topological Horseshoes and other topological phenomena
Explosions of chaotic sets as a parameter is
He is known as Dr. Chaos! Yes, credited for coming up with the chaos theory, or more popularly known because of the 2004 movie "Butterfly Effect". Now if you know me you can see why I find this so exciting. I see life as one huge puzzle; we try to see where the next one fits, where the simplest moments can shift where we are headed into an entirely new direction. I try not to speak in definite terms because of this; I feel it limits our path in life and the direction it can take.
I remember years ago reading of Carl Jung. I had to find out everything I could because I was so impressed. I found validity in what I felt. Shortly after, I read "A Peoples History of the United States" by Howard Zinn. I retained that information with every ounce of my being and shared my one copy with anyone who was willing to read it. These people helped shape who I am, their thoughts and ideas are now part of my own views.
I have a feeling this is what is happening now with James Yorke. I cannot get enough. It is exciting and attainable and I am not cringing every time he writes about math instead I am eating up what I can understand and attempting to figure out what I don't.
This man is a genius who has credited as developing "a map satisfying property 2" and is quoted as saying, "The most successful people are those who are good at plan B." I smile and wonder if this is how "Frank" my friend referenced in the beginning of all of this first came to say, "Now, f*** me if I am wrong, but you want to make out," securing plan A with plan B vise versa. Oh that crazy Frank. I know it is wishful thinking but in my fairytale world the day I meet Kila, Franks' ex, we'll have something to talk about besides Frank.
Recently though, I've been given suggested reading material for an upcoming work assignment. It is necessary reading for understanding weather streams.
"Chaos and Weather Prediction", which was written by James Yorke, Distinguished University Professor of Mathematics and Physics at the Institute for Physical Sciences and Technology (IPST), University of Maryland, in collaboration with:
Chris Danforth (Ph.D. 2006),
John Harlim (Ph.D. 2006),
Brian Hunt,
Eugenia Kalnay,
Eric Kostelich (Prof. at Arizona State U. visiting UMD),
Ed Ott, Istvan Szunyogh,
Aleksey Zimin (Ph.D. UMD 2004)
It basically states, all prediction is extrapolation. Our primary goal is to develop algorithms for finding the global initial conditions for weather prediction. We are using nonlinear dynamics (or chaos) theory to develop better weather initialization algorithms for use with high performance computing. The project is based on the idea that the weather - at least as exhibited by weather models - is not terribly chaotic. We develop techniques for understanding existing, whole-earth weather models using ensembles of solutions, collections of solutions with slightly different initial conditions. Now I don't fully grasp it all yet, thats because I am only 71% nerdatron, 7% deriving from using the word nerdatron in real life.
This is something I am reading up on and because I have to but because of this suggestion I have stumbled upon other subjects researched by Prof. Yorke. He has supervised approximately 40 Ph.D. dissertations & has been credited in over 300 publications. This man has written so much on a variety of subjects.
Projects which currently include:
Better methods for determining the genetic sequence of large genomes,
Nonlinear dynamics of computer networks (Internet TCP)
Modeling the population dynamics of HIV, or "Why the US Gay HIV Epidemic Exploded Years before the Sub-Saharan Epidemic"
A Mathematical theory of observation,
Topological Horseshoes and other topological phenomena
Explosions of chaotic sets as a parameter is
He is known as Dr. Chaos! Yes, credited for coming up with the chaos theory, or more popularly known because of the 2004 movie "Butterfly Effect". Now if you know me you can see why I find this so exciting. I see life as one huge puzzle; we try to see where the next one fits, where the simplest moments can shift where we are headed into an entirely new direction. I try not to speak in definite terms because of this; I feel it limits our path in life and the direction it can take.
I remember years ago reading of Carl Jung. I had to find out everything I could because I was so impressed. I found validity in what I felt. Shortly after, I read "A Peoples History of the United States" by Howard Zinn. I retained that information with every ounce of my being and shared my one copy with anyone who was willing to read it. These people helped shape who I am, their thoughts and ideas are now part of my own views.
I have a feeling this is what is happening now with James Yorke. I cannot get enough. It is exciting and attainable and I am not cringing every time he writes about math instead I am eating up what I can understand and attempting to figure out what I don't.
This man is a genius who has credited as developing "a map satisfying property 2" and is quoted as saying, "The most successful people are those who are good at plan B." I smile and wonder if this is how "Frank" my friend referenced in the beginning of all of this first came to say, "Now, f*** me if I am wrong, but you want to make out," securing plan A with plan B vise versa. Oh that crazy Frank. I know it is wishful thinking but in my fairytale world the day I meet Kila, Franks' ex, we'll have something to talk about besides Frank.
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