The passing of Prop 8. Look its a Golden Calf!

Years ago I had a friend who had left their beautiful desert town, parting at the same time with a deeply knit Mormon community. I had no idea the extent of aspiration many members of the Mormon Church were willing to commit to. That was until I was visiting my aforesaid friend one day and they happened to have a random knock at the door. The people, two men, on the other side of the door were apparently friendly people who chatted for a bit and seem to know my friend, even as my friend had no idea who these two men were. They had also known my friend had left the Mormon Church and had come to convince them to come back. We were shocked to say the least. They had been found! Or more importantly why as an adult, who made a decision to go, were they being searched for? It was to me, scary and manipulative.

As an outsider, who hadn't known much about Mormons I was fascinated, so I started reading about the Mormons. I read about Brigham Young (who coincidently shares my birthday) and how he was the leader of the American Latter Day Saint movement. How he was a polygamist and is credited for revoking the priesthood and temple ordinances from black members of the church. He also believed the Adam and God theory. Mind you this is now often scoffed at by modern Mormons.

Oh how hindsight is 20/20.

I began thinking about my own forgotten religion that was still so deeply ingrained in me. How as I child I attended mass at my Catholic school every day, said novenas with my mother on Sundays and at 13 yrs old marched 10 miles in a “Right to Life” campaign, holding a sign up with an aborted fetus. At the time I hadn’t fully understood what taking a woman’s rights away meant. I do however clearly remember as my loving clergy cheered, chanted, hugged and encouraged me that some of the things they were saying sounded both very naïve and malicious.
Through the years I grew away from my church and went though a time I believed in nothing, or thought I did. Until one day I realized I still collected rosary beads, continued to say little prayers and missed the beautiful ritual of the Catholic Church. I am no longer a faithful Catholic but I do still find comfort in the thought. My father was a member of the Knights of Columbus, they stood at his funeral, as this man with such gentle faith, who was not only tolerant but accepting, was laid to rest. It is the last memory I have of the Knights of Columbus in my life until I read of their contribution. I was both torn and saddened to see the contribution made by the Knights of Columbus supporting Prop 8 but unfortunately I wasn't surprised.

The big donations that came in for Prop. 8 are frustrating to say the least. I can't help but wonder and remember the money basket passed around during mass years ago in my past. Are outcomes such as this where the money went?

I want to refute the religious argument on this issue with everything in me but the church is both powerful and loving at minimum to its members and I am no great advocate I usually have an apathetic small voice. I also know first hand how being a proper disciple is implemented in our brains through years and years and how even gentleness and hope cannot sway opinion and anger and insults for the most part only maximize the stronghold. I have not practiced religon in many, many years but I try to remain understanding of it.

I cannot understand however, how someone can logically believe Prop 8 is right. How some people who supported it think it will affect them if it did not pass? How it was preached with fear and lies and that there is still the mentality of such an ignorance so much so that blind, uninformed decisions that truly effect the rights of others are being made into law.

Here is just a random scenario. A straight couple at eighteen, who have known each other for 3 months can drive to Vegas, get hitched for 2 weeks by paying $50 bucks for a marriage license.

A gay couple 37 and 34 who have known each other for 7 years been in love for 5, built a stable home, attend their Unitarian church every Sunday and are active members in their community must pay approximately $2K in lawyers fee to obtain Power of Attorney.

Both the following couples had a civil ceremony but clearly the later couple paid the cost of being discriminated against. Let’s not forget it was only in 1977 the legislature amended Civil Code section 4100 providing a gender-specific description of marriage.

Oh the argument of marriage being a man and a woman. This is based on a religious belief and there are many religions that make up the state of California. How can you ask that your religious beliefs be respected while disrespecting others? This is why there is a separation between church and state.

Of some of the proponents of prop 8, I admire and respect their tenacity. I hope that this comes from an honest place in what feels right in their hearts. What worries me is that, in my opinion, it is a form of eidololatria and big money mixed with big Church mixed with false prophets equals the Great Golden Calf. For some of others for the people unwilling to at least try to understand, for the fanatics, the bullies, the threats, I can only hope that you or your future generations can recognize that gay marriage will not ruin your family, hurt your personal beliefs or infect the country.

I am disheartened thinking about this loss of rights. I am angry as I do not understand how as Californians we were given the opportunity to vote against the denial of civil rights and over half of California voted to do just that deny civil rights. I wonder if we were to turn back time. If we were in a different era with a different mindset where we could stand in voting for Women's rights, for integration in schools?

I am regretful that I didn't do more that many of us did not do more. Yes we can push this is 2010 but it was so close and the costs and the effort spent really only needed that much more. I am mostly ashamed I didn't have more conversations with people I thought would vote yes. I am not argumentative, it wouldn't have been difficult for me to just share and listen instead I didn't want to offend anothers beliefs so I remained quiet. The Sunday a week before the elections I volunteered the No on 8 phone bank but I went to a show instead thinking for certain it wouldn't pass. Thinking, Californians are smarter than to eliminate rights.

I am impressed by the diligence of the same faces I would see at the BART everyday encouraging and reminding me to vote NO. I am moved by friends and family and strangers who allowed themselves an open mind even if they didn't fully understand homosexual lifestyles. I am grateful that half of California stood up against injustice and voted against Prop 8 and that we are headed in a more equal direction.

It came down to a matter of money. If religions want to send money to California to save families, respectfully I’d like to ask to use their big big money to truly save families in this state. The hungry families, the homeless, the poor, the displaced families, the refugees and leave the laws a government issue not a religious one.

In retrospect I know there is more I could have done. I cannot change that now but seeing how this has effected me I know that I have to do my part in this fight. In 30 years I do not think this will be an issue in California but that doesn’t mean it will happen simply because we have waited for it. If we sit and wait there is the possibility we will never see these civil rights implemented, at least during our lifetime. It will take the effort of everyone who thinks this is wrong.